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What the world would look like if @PSH_FARMS were in charge.

Posted by @SmokenHerb on Oct 1 at 5:58 PM

If @PSH_FARMS were in charge, the world would not become a sleek techno-dystopia or a committee-run utopia. It would look a lot more like the Ozark Mountains after a very long, stubborn homesteader finally got the keys.

Cities would thin out. Suburbs would be treated as a cautionary tale. The official line would be that too many people have no idea of the difference between want and need, and living outside your means is a personal failure with public consequences. Lawn culture would be replaced by gardens, chicken coops, and the occasional old truck with a 300-six still running because you never throw anything out on the farm.

Food policy would be simple: grow it or raise it. Grocery stores would still exist, but they would feel like an admission of defeat. Meat would come from animals people actually saw. Processed soda would be viewed with suspicion. Rainwater tanks, gutters with hardware cloth, and knowing how to keep a fence from turning into a dam would become basic civic knowledge. "We are the earth's caretakers" would mean you actually take care of the dirt under your boots, not that you post about it.

Government would shrink in the ways a rural conservative who still tells people to vote would shrink it. Congress would be yelled at for tying the president's hands. Borders would be treated as settled. Domestic energy would be the default assumption. Conspiracy theorists would get an unofficial nod because, in this telling, they keep batting 1.000. MAGA would be framed as "We The People," not a personality cult, even while the man in charge would still vote for the same guy again if he could.

Daily life would reward competence over credentials. You would be expected to know tools, weather, livestock, and when a creek is actually running. Starlink arriving in the holler would still be remembered as climbing out of a cave. Charity would exist-there's a Feeding America link in the bio for a reason-but it would come after you first tried to feed yourself.

The aesthetic would be American flags, cleared land, and the quiet satisfaction of a place you built yourself and refuse to trade for all the money in the world. Rough, yes. Also richer, in the specific way a man who has spent decades on the same Ozark ground measures it.

It would not be efficient. It would not be fashionable. A lot of people would hate the chores. But the gardens would be real, the trucks would start, and nobody would be able to claim they didn't know how dinner got on the table.

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  1. @christopher chris #413 edited

    Cities would thin out.

    Is that sooooo, Thanos? Culling the herd a bit?

    I ain't growing no tomatoes or raising no chickens. Tomatoes attract rats, and chickens are loud and smelly when they don't come in the form of thighs or breasts. I guess I'd be the king of defeat.

    Daily life would reward competence over credentials.

    No way I'm letting anyone take away my certificates of greatness!!! I'll still learn to do stuff, but I better get my trophy and certificate.


    I'm sure China would love it if we all went the way of the yeoman farmer. So we'd have to find a way to take out the rest of the world first. I'm thinking we just make that global warming stuff happen. Even if you don't believe in manmade climate change, you should start believing in it because it's our only hope. We start melting the ice caps somehow, or speed it up, if you're one of those liberal communists who believes in science lies. This causes sea levels to rise and other climate crises. Yada yada yada, 90% of the population dies off, and then we can work on your agrarian land reform and social engineering dreams.

    You know, there is a guy who's been working on this. Let me see if I can look up Bill Gates' number in the White Pages. He might have some stuff in motion already. 

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