If you're dealing with wild boars, eventually you run into the problem of what to actually do with all that boar once you've acquired it. Wild boar typically tastes as bad as it smells, right? Gotta think outside the box... I've had some luck throwing them into a large industrial grinder whole. Well, I actually remove the thyroid glands first because I'm trying to figure out to not die when society fully collapses without becoming a cannibal that needs to eat human baby thyroids to stay alive, but that's totally different topic. Think of the grinder as a large food processer. Eventually you'll get a paste which can then be pasteurized to be made safe. At which point you can add various seasonings, food colorings, and shape into whatever you want to make it more palatable. You can even inject with saline to make it appear more juicier. Don't use botox, though. You likely already have some in your meat slurry, adding more is just too much risk. Making the Nuggs Anyway, I personally like to add some spicy sriracha or a smoky chipotle flavor to make some spicy wild boar nuggets . They are small and calorie dense. Perfect trail food that fits nicely in your pockets. The more pockets you have, the more boar nuggs you can carry. You might have to deal with the occasional tooth or hoof shard, but that's why it's really important to not skimp on the grinder. Go to an auction and get something industrial. You can sometimes get near-free ones from the EPA when they auction off stuff they pull from superfund sites. Just bleach it and use some elbow grease. It will be fine. Oh and to be clear, you're not limited to just wild boar nuggets. You can turn that paste into pretty much anything you can imagine. This is very similar to the process that @Sysco uses to make 75% of the items they sale to 95% of the restaurants in the US. Although they don't use wild boar, they use... Actually, that doesn't matter what they use. The point is that it's a tried and true approach that works. Pocket Selection I'm also a huge fan of cargo pants with lots of pockets. I'm very well acquainted with how many nuggets that pockets of various form factors and sizes can hold, in addition to their various advantages. Patch Pockets You have you typical patch pocket which are basically useless because they do not have much capacity and they will crush your nuggs. They are fine for short trips to the bathroom or maybe to take the trash out, but you don't want to venture out too far if all you have are patch pockets. Zippered Patch Pockets Next we have the patch pockets with zippers . These are pretty much the same except they can keep your nuggs fresher, but that's kind of a gimmick because you're not going to far with just patch pockets anyway. Right? Cargo Pockets Cargo pockets are good middle-tier pockets that have decent capacity and are loose enough to not crush your nugs even on long trips. Plus they have a top flap which can help keep the bugs out. Zipper ones are probably preferred over buttons, but zippers are more difficult to do field repairs on if they become worn. If you eat a lot of pocket nuggs, then you should keep this in mind. Maybe velcro? Long-Term Nug Storage The pocket for long-term storage of nuggs is the armored 3D/bellow pockets , though. These give you the most volume and protection for your nuggs. It's like bottomless breadsticks at olive garden but for nuggs. Emergency Nuggs Oh and don't rule out the utility of the coin pocket for emergency nuggs . These should be if you turn the nuggs into a hardtack by letting them get stale first. The police are not going to search your coin pocket for nuggs either. That's an added bonus. Optimizing Nug Carrying Capacity Despite all the talk about fitness and MAHA, in this particular situation the fatter you are the better of because that mean your pockets will be bigger. Bigger pockets mean means more trail nuggets. It's a balance you have to figure out. Sure, if you're 300lbs then you will have less stamina and you'll be slower, but you will have more nuggs. You gotta figure out what works best for your own situation. *** Adapted from the Dumb-Shit-I-Once-Wrote-on-Twitter Files

At some point in the last few years, I was manipulated by the globohomo communist lizard-human hybrids to put oat milk in my coffee. Not just regular oat milk, but the super-thick and creamy barista kind that they charge a premium for. Sure, they make it thicker and creamier by putting weird shit in it, but whatever, it tasted fucking awesome . At least, that is what they deceived me into believing using clever targeted tactics taken straight from the KGB 's TTP playbook. I also stopped using coffee pods and went back to brewing because I believe those are part of another global conspiracy against me. This time, it's not the communists, but rather the Swiss. I haven't fully figured out what the Swiss have against me or why they were using alien technology to make me use coffee pods that cost $2 a pop, but I am certain I will figure it out someday. Okay, anyway. I'm back to drinking pure American -brewed drip Colombian mixed with Arabica coffee with nothing other than American hot water from the tap. It's very liberating. I also get back to reminding people of my superiority because I drink my coffee black. Society doesn't explicitly recognize us as superior, but if you think about it, it does do so in more subtle ways. Imagine you need a hero. Like a real man. A true badass. You're like "ooooommmg I neeed a heeeeeerrrrrro. Where have all the black coffee drinkers gone???" You look around and you see some 5-foot-nothing-tall Canuck drinking a double-double from Tim Hortons. It's basically a milkshake at that point, right? But then in walks some 5-foot-eleven-but-almost-six-foot-so-lets-just-call-it-six-foot-particularly-if-we-measure-in-the-morning stud drinking a large black coffee with nothing in it. No cream. No sugar. No flavoring. Who are you going to ask to be your hero? Choose wisely. Your cat's about to be eaten by the Haitians.